Weaning.

6 months and 24 days ago when I gave birth I told the nurse I had plans to breastfeed Kaylin. Since then it has been a struggle with supply and needing to supplement. At first I was ashamed I couldn't provide food for my baby on my own but after some help (and time) I got over it. Even after that was resolved it didn't make breastfeeding any easier. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing you can do for you baby but it doesn't make it easy. They can be either really good at latching or have issues with it. Then they have lazy days where no matter how well they usually are at latching you will have to fight with them to continue the feeding. In the end.. it's frustrating and time consuming for the mom but so worth it for your baby.

Over time I realized that to make it less frustrating (most days) you need to be relaxed about the feedings. If most days they go quickly, awesome. If not.. just enjoy the time you're bonding with you baby.

I wish I cherished the moments more. I didn't think at about 7 months I'd already feel that Kaylin is so independent. She rather have a bottle the breast feed. Bottles are much quicker feedings and she can go back to playing. She loves doing her own thing. I thought I'd have a while before that phase came! Don't get me wrong, she loves mommy time. She will randomly cry for me and want to snuggle.. I love that.

However, since breastfeeding sessions have become longer and she's shown less interest I figured this is her way saying she'd like to move on from it. Okay. I thought 7 months is a great amount of time to breastfeed. A year is whats recommended and what I originally wanted (when pregnant) but I was lucky to breastfeed for this long. After all my supply hasn't been great so I'm lucky. I just feel like I'm going to miss out on more of our bonding.

Breastfeeding sessions are a very big bonding time for us. I know it's probably not going to be as big of a loss as I feel it is but right now it bothers me.

On top of physical discomfort while weaning there is emotional pain you go through. However, that could be due to the hormonal surge you go through when weaning. I never knew this. So while my body adjusts I'm feeling really sad that we're stopping. It has nothing to do with the breastfeeding itself (after all, I did well!) but the fact that I'm losing a bond.

It's crazy right? 7 months ago I didn't think I'd get to do this. Over the months I felt like quitting because it was stressful (over supply) and now I can't believe it's ending.

Weaning sucks. I miss this... her falling asleep on my chest after a feeding. Those are the most peaceful moments in my life.


Anyway, just needed to whine for a bit. I'm an emotional Momma right now. Hormones regulate already!