I'm happy but stressed out.
I hate flying because it causes me so much anxiety. The first time I flew from NY to Utah when Adam and I got married I basically had a nervous break down at take off. With him there I eventually calmed down and could get through the rest of the flights but I was so uneasy until we landed in Utah. Every time after that I've been okay if with someone. When I fly alone though the anxiety gets really bad. I know you're more likely to die in a car accident then a plane crash but it doesn't stop me from freaking about flying.
Anyway, yesterday in our meeting with Tricare about travel arrangements I found out that the air force will only pay for me to fly down. They only authorize spouses to go when its for a surgery not a consult. =\ That really bothers me. I don't know if he'll give me any news that might bother me but that would make my flight back to Fairbanks worse. Right now I just have anxiety about the trip itself. UGH flying alone. Hopefully my trip goes smoothly though. I'm flying down around noon to Anchorage (luckily only an hour flight!) then my appointment is at 3pm. I'm having a taxi pick me up at the airport so I don't have to drive a rental. I hate driving in places I'm not familiar when I have somewhere I need to be... my luck I'd get lost. Then after my appointment a taxi will take me back to the airport. I should be flying back to Fairbanks around 7pm. So hopefully things go well for the trip.
I'm really trying to relax about all this but since I made the appointment it's kind of hit me that I'm going to see a surgeon about a mass in my chest. =\ I'm hopeful it will be nothing serious but wont know that until I talk to him. I've tried finding some reviews on him but not much has popped up when I search. I really hope he's a good surgeon/doctor. It would put me more at ease if I knew more about him. I guess I'll find out on the 7th what he's like. I just wish I had past patient reviews to know how his surgeries have gone.. especially if he works on me. Oh well. We'll see how it goes.
Watching Our Little Girl Grow...
Kaylin Rose Snyder born on 01/01/11 at 7:23pm. She weighed 8lbs 4.5oz and measured 20 inches long. Nothing could have ever prepared me for how much I would love my daughter. I thought I knew what love was when I got pregnant with her, but that was nothing compared to how I now feel. You can't really ever describe what it feels like to become a mother, it's just so amazing. I'm truly blessed to have this little girl and can't imagine my life without her.
I wish I could go with you babe, I really want some Arby's!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I wish I could be there in case you find out bad news, or something goes wrong. Just know it'll only be a few hours before you're back with Kaylin and I, and you probably won't find anything out that day, they'll probably need more tests.
I love you, and we'll make it through this.