Visit so far..

Well we made it back home last Thursday (May 12th) and passed out. Friday (13th) saw my father in law for his birthday. He is looking terrible. I'm glad we're all here to see him though. Meeting Kaylin totally melted his heart. The smile he gets on his face when he see's her is just amazing. I'm glad we could give him this time right now. I just wish we had more time with him. Realistically this is our last visit with him and we all know it. The next time we come back will be for a funeral. It's a terrible feeling to know that once you say goodbye, that you wont be seeing that person again. It's not a "I'll see you later" type of a goodbye. It just breaks my heart. We've tried seeing him everyday but twice since being here. One day Adam just went up by himself. I felt terrible about it but with me being so sick lately (horrible cold) that I figured it would be a good opportunity for him to have some father/son time. He said he enjoyed seeing his dad by himself so I'm glad about that. Sunday will be the last day we see his dad this visit I think. I'm not sure. I'm debating it just being Adam again but I'm not sure. He may want to see Kaylin too in which case we'll all drive down early that day. I'm not sure how Adam will handle all of this once it's over but I hope having this time with his dad has made him happy. I'm not sure if it will be bittersweet or not but he knows Kaylin and I are here to help him through this time.

Kaylin loves her family though. The smiles she gives her Grandpa Snyder, Pop-pop Ruoff, cousins, Aunts and Uncle Bob are heart warming. She finds them all fun to be around. I'm so glad family is getting to see her at this age since I don't know when they'll see her after the funeral. We really want to come back home for her 1 year birthday but that all depends on money. It's expensive to fly home and we never know what financial things will pop up over the next 7 1/2 months. Plus with a car payment money isn't as easy to save like it was. We still save but not as much. It kind of breaks my heart seeing how great they all get along and love each other knowing she may not be with family for her first birthday. It's the sucky part of being a military family.. away during big moments. It sucks!

Anyway, I really can't wait for my sisters and the rest of my family to meet her. I'm a little torn about going to NJ but it'll be great seeing everyone. I know it's going to be rough when we head back to AK knowing Kaylin wont see some of her family for a while or ever again. That's the hardest part for me. I always thought Kaylin would have a HUGE family and surrounded by love like I was. I know she'll still be surrounded by love but some loved ones wont be here to see her grow. It's really heart breaking. It's also terrible knowing some family members wont see simply because they choose not to be around. Why ignore family when they haven't done things to deserve it? That angers me so much. Oh well.. it's life, right?

*sigh* Before I get completely off topic.. our visit has been nice. Sad, but nice. I'm curious to see how the rest of it goes. :)